Cine Albéniz, well known for screening arthouse and foreign cinema, sits in the cultural epicentre of Malaga’s historic centre, directly next to the Roman Amphitheatre and Alcazaba. It shows films from all over Europe, subtitled in Spanish, so can be enjoyed by locals, tourists and expats who seek to explore a diverse range of cinema.
“I Swear” and John Davidson’s battle with Tourettes
Currently showing is the English Bafta winning film I Swear, known in Spanish as Incontrollable. It is the autobiographical tale of a man named John Davidson (played by Robert Aramayo) and his struggle with Tourette’s in the 80s. Tourettes is a nervous system disorder characterised by sudden, repetitive, involuntary movements and sounds known as tics. These can be both motor and vocal tics, including swearing. In John Davidson’s case he find himself saying the worst possible phrase that could be said in the moment, including sexist, racist slurs or aggressive swear words. It is like an impulsive thought being continually actualised.
The film portrays him growing up as a man ousted by many, finding purpose is the kindness of few. As a young teen John appears fearless and proud, confidently flirting with girls and almost scouted as goalie in his football team. Slowly as his condition develops, he begins to swear and spit at school and at home. His teachers and parents become angry, reprimanding him despite his own confusion at his uncontrollable compulsions. They are embarrassed by him and punish him for committing tics that he has no control over. We observe a boy, initially happy and sure of himself, become unaccepting of who he is. He begins to crawl away from life, wanting to protect others from what he believes is his own abhorrence. He continuously blames and hates himself for a condition he cannot control and so do those who surround him. He is made to feel like a burden by his mother and abandoned by his father in shame.
Empathy leads to Acceptance
Director, Kirk Jones allows audiences to empathise with John’s condition by rendering his disability understandable through the simple humanity in this emotion. All people have hated themselves at times, disappointed in who they are or worried they are disappointing others. But most, unlike John, have a support system; family and friends who remind them of their value and individuality. Most also find joy in being able to comfort others and assure those who doubt themselves that they are enough. John is completely alone, and the audience cannot bear to see it, wanting to reach through the screen and hug him; to tell him he is understood and lovable. They’re frustrated by those who are critical of him and crave to see someone be kind; it is pivotal when someone finally is.
Dotty (played by Maxine Peake), his school friends Mother offers the kindness we were forced to watch him go without. She meets him and invites him into her home, accepting his condition immediately, loving him and finding him a family for which he is not a nuance. She tells him never to apologise for his tics so he begins to accept himself again and believe he has a right to exist in the world.
This pivotal moment is what carries the entire message of the film: empathy, kindness and understanding for those who are different and subvert the comforting expectation of societies’ normal. When one person is kind, more kindness follows in domino effect. John finds others who will help him, namely the caretaker Tommy (played by Peter Mullan) who gives him a job. John then goes on to help others, raise awareness for Tourette’s and assure those who find themselves living with it that they are amongst many and don’t have to feel as lonely and ashamed as he did.
Ultimate Message of Hope in Humanity
John’s life was not easy. He was thrown into jail multiple times, beaten and humiliated for his tics but the film ends hopefully. Audiences have laughed and cried at moments of horror and humanity so as the titles roll with Oasis’s Stop Crying Your Heart Out there is a sense of utter melancholy. The cards some are dealt are truly difficult but “you’ll never change whats been and gone” you can only look forward. Education and empathy really does better people as they help themselves and those who need it more than them. At a moment of political bleakness, where many are disillusioned by the world’s violence and injustice, Kirk Jones’s I Swear is a gentle message of hope and belief in human benevolence.
